Anal sex has earned a controversial image - but it should not be subjected to that. The anus is an erogenous zone of the body. It's gotten a bad wrap and is now largely only as an activity which makes it an object of conquest by men.
So let's try modifying this perception ...
Try not to look for anal sex as a fetish. Consider this activity as something natural just as when one goes and kisses breasts or licks pussy. The back door by it's primary intent in functionality is different from the front door and is not reality as depicted in pornographic films.
The anus is an erogenous zone of the body as mentioned earlier, so if your girlfriend does not like her back door penetrated, it may very well be that she's got more of a psychological issue than a physical one.
Be a body explorer, making your partner feel special and watching their reactions and communicating constantly, to discover how to play with this highly desired option in sexual pleasure. And the best thing to remeber: not only get her consent, make sure you have her desire too. If you do things right to get this going, she may accept many more requests for anal sex.
So let's get down to business!!!
1. START AS IF YOU DON'T REALLY NEED IT
The first thing to do is to identify what the relationship you have with the woman you're with, and exactly what the liklihood of exploring anal sex truly is.
In moments of intimacy, explore her entire body! Have you taken the time to kiss her neck? Kiss it. Never kissed her thighs? Kiss them! Stimulate the entire body, because the act of easing her into the activity will pay dividends and make things easier.
When it's time to explore the anus, it takes a lot of finesse. It begins by stimulating the region lightly while you are paying attention to her vagina and pelvic region.
At the moment she gets intensely excited, runs your fingers a little further down, until you're near the anal area. If you are sucking it or rimming it, be sure to pretend your not intending to, you just "wandered" there with your tongue or fingers ;). As if it was unintentional.
It is essential that she's extremely excited when you're arriving around the anus. The level of horniness makes moral barriers disappear, which will be a huge help when working on successfully having anal sex.
Very important: Do not fool the woman! No way. You do not want to do anything without her consent. Rather, the idea is to have both in the union get equal pleasure, and to share in the enjoyment.
Be gentle with her, using soft stimulation, realize that the anus is an erogenous point and that ample stimulation is good. If you tell her you're going to caress the region, it is possible that she may reject it, so the best option is proceed with caution. If in a loving embrace or in enjoying intense moments of great excitement, she will surely enjoy the affection.
If she does not like. Respect it.
2. START THE EXPLORATION
When she realized that your finger or your tongue is already there and she's accepting of it, start to stimulate the area with more pressure. No more need to hide your intentions.
Here, however, we must be still be very careful. It is possible that it is still a vulnerable spot and that she could have second thoughts about the situation, so if you are a little further than she would like, you may be at risk of losing out.
Unhurried, gentlemen! You need not do everything in one fuck. On the contrary, it is conquering the partner in a way that she'll be begging for more, any many more fuck sessions worth your attention.
If she has already approved of your anal play, begin to stimulate the anus without introducing fingers and always with simultaneous stimulation in another part of the body, preferably the clitoris. Thus, beyond the pleasure in the region, she will begin to associate other pleasures ...
Ok, now that she has accepted to be played with in the anus and she noticed that her asshole is an erogenous zone, there should be no problem adding this as a new option in your combined sexual repertoire.
Next time, just enter lightly with your finger. Not to mention, always use lot's of lubrication, we can't stress this enough! She does't want sandpaper in her asshole. It is important that she does not feel any discomfort or unnecessary friction during this act. Your finger has to slide into her anal cavity smoothly, just as it does in the vagina. And do not put the entire finger in all at once, she may not want you to park a car in there just yet ... using slow movement, increase the speed if you feel that she wants it and will be receptive.
You can also use sex toys to explore penetration of the area.
Remember to always stimulate her vagina when tinkering with her anus. This way she will associate the back door with pleasure, and not annoyance or pain!
4. THE GRAND FINALE
Now that she has come to accept the stimulation of the anus, the game is already won - unless you do mess it up or treat it like a pinball machine. Now just wait for her to get in the mood, or help it along with a little liquid courage (tequilla and red wine seems to work pretty well, just saying). Be aware that the process can take much longer than you would like it to, but respect it. Without respect for this very delicate sexual act, you may be looking down the barrel of a 12 guage shotgun.
If things are going well, it's possible that she will be eager for anal sex at times. All taboos have been broken with this patient walk-through and she is enjoying the pleasures of anal stimulation. Additional curiosity may arise and she'll feel safe with the all of the attention your giving her along with the patience you afford her.
Your dick is much thicker than your finger, so it will be a different stimulation of which she was accustomed with a finger or tongue. The idea is to let her dictate and communicate the pace. Find a position that is comfortable. If the position requires you to move, do it, but communicate with her to ensure your partner feels good.
After that, just depends on the experience. Some women like that the stimulation stays at the surface level, while others like it deeper, stronger. There are those who enjoy faster and slower. So you just need to talk to her about it.
If you do things properly, calmly, without scaring her, she probably will accept your proposals and start enjoying the activity. Time and time again, you may find yourself rejecting her need for anal, especially when she wants top shove a dildo up your ass.
Now go forth and be sensitive in the introduction into the world of anal sex.